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natalialovesit

Recent Entries

10/13/08 12:45 am

Happy Massive Genocide of Indigenous People Day. No class! 

10/2/08 07:30 pm

I'm not at work and people are awake and stores are still open.

This is nice. 
Current Music: Jenny Lewis

9/24/08 11:34 am

Oh and

Instructions:
Take a picture of yourself right now.
Don't change your clothes, don't fix your hair - just take a picture.
Post that picture with NO editing.
Post these instructions with the picture.



9/24/08 11:14 am

This made me laugh with the same sort of squirming uneasiness Cabin Fever evoked.  Fucked up part is...I've seen scarily similar stuff in reality. 


Current Mood: uncomfortable

9/23/08 02:43 am

Sleep should happen.  I prefer tinkering.
Current Mood: awake

7/12/08 06:20 am

My brother is in Guatemala.
I am in Lakewood.
My brother is making his way through markets and fruit stands, weaving through Mayan ruins and small villages, stammering broken Spanish and translating broken English with old relatives, drinking and engaging and learning from new ones.
I am in Lakewood, Independence, North Olmsted. Home, work, old home. Sleeping on my living room futon, typing in my shared cubicle, grocery shopping in my parent's refrigerator and cupboards.
Current Music: vampire weekend
Current Mood: blah

5/19/08 12:18 am



Permission granted!

Possible new tattoo.
Current Music: Band of Horses
Current Mood: jubilant

5/16/08 04:35 am

All I need is this and this. 

5/15/08 01:15 am

I have this friend, Will, who I see about three times a year, mostly in the CSU library. Freshman year of college we bonded over our love of some dangerously thin and brooding hipster with a stuttering problem that was in our writing workshop.

Sometimes we call each other, Will and I. Usually one of us is drunk. Tonight he called me, sober, and once again we approached the subject that birthed our sporadic friendship:

Will: While not of loose morals, I could hardly be called picky. I'm of that poetic breed that can become absorbed by many things.

Natalia: Oh, I understand. I'm pretty open minded. Too fuckin open minded.

Will: Yeah?

Natalia: Yeah. I think that's my problem. I find major faults endearing. Like "Oh, you're a homicidal vegan meth head that litters and hates children? That's so refreshing. I think I'm in love with you."

Will: Hey, you bitch, I'm a vegan.

Natalia: Marry me?

Will: Why, my morally based dietary restrictions?

Natalia: No. Your verbal abuse. Seriously, do me. Now.

Will: You scare me.

5/14/08 01:51 am



Boredom will do this.
It's safe to say, however, that I really don't mind seeing this little lady every day.
Current Music: Tarkio

5/12/08 03:04 am

Days like this combat the creeping cynicism I know isn't me.

Days where I  lounge around my parent's house, making my way sleepily  from room to room, until finally settling in the backyard while my mom aimlessly putters amongst her plants, and my dad drinks and laughs at nothing in particular.

Days where Nathan annoys the fuck out of me and then seamlessly makes me laugh seconds later. Days where Max and I sit on the basement couch and hurl insults and watch TMZ.

Days where the five of us laugh and drink and fight and eat.

The first week of a school-less existence is starting. I'm a bit less wound up.
Current Music: Of Montreal
Current Mood: calm

5/10/08 03:35 am



I remember it and I want it back. But, this time, in my own way.
Current Music: Hot Chip

5/9/08 01:20 am

It was like peripheral vision and I was okay with that.

Actually, I preferred it; taking a whirlwind of incredible experiences with an incredible person (and then the end of it all) and not looking right at them, but having them somewhat present, around me in glimpses and shadows and light. As long as they were out of my face.

And then you hear a song. It's always a fucking song.

And all of a sudden you don't need your eyes because your mind is bombarded. Because you realize that Weeds marathons, baking cookies in the shapes of genitals and laughing so hard you cry, playing with cats, having embarrassingly mortifying sex, having incredible sex, venting, walking fast in New York, swapping gifts and eating Boston Market on Christmas Eve, kissing in cab rides home, drinking coffee and snickering at people who just don't get it can all be done with someone that isn't you.

That's when you need blinders.
Current Music: the elected
Current Mood: weird

5/8/08 12:02 am

I find that I am excellent at bad things.

I really, really am.

I drink with the intention of getting drunk, smoke despite being overweight and somewhat asthmatic, and watch more reality television than Joel McHale. Add to that my  stop sign rolling,  ABBA and Wilson Phillips listening and eyeliner abusing. All of this, however, pales in comparison to my absolute best bad attribute: I am simply amazing at procrastinating.

(Please note that I am fully aware all of these traits are rather boring and unimpressive when it comes to "bad things" and that a list of felonious and/or adulterous actions would prove to be a bit more interesting, that a majority of early twentysomethings are lazy, body harming, couch potatoes and that I am offering a not so newfangled notion.  But said early twentysomethings are also so severely self absorbed that they're convinced their personal neuroses are independently important, and sharing of those neuroses is a novel act. That's where I'm at. I can't help it, I'm 23.)

I am currently staring at a blank Word document that, in the next few hours, needs words. Words about feminism, or oppression or something.
I lied. I am currently staring at a Wikipedia article about Chuck Klosterman (a rather short, unfulfilling one at that).

Like any accomplished skill, I've worked diligently to earn bragging rights.

I've had my nights of Jesse Spano-esque, caffeine induced geometry speed studying. Diet Mt. Dew my drug of choice, however, not caffeine pills. I've verbally and emotionally abused many a PC. One time I flicked off my dell. Seconds later embarrassment and concern for my mental stability trumped any electronically evoked rage.

Working and attending school full time has provided me with the perfectly valid excused of "no time." This justification is my most prized possession, because in those near full on mental breakdowns - when my printer is jammed or out of ink, or when the guy at Kinko's just happens to be new and I involuntarily become his training subject, having to watch him push random buttons and half laughing at his own futility - I have the comfort of knowing that the completion of my assignment may not happen because I had to work until 1:30 in the morning. I had to work until 1:30 in the morning because I have bills to pay. And paying my bills take precedence over any in-depth analysis of Jason and the Argonauts.

There are time, though, when I'm blessed with an evening free of any immediate obligation; a solid five or six hours that can be devoted completely to academia. And in those moments I become engrossed, absolutely devoted to my best talent.

Sudden urges to schedule dental appointments, call my grandmother and dying my hair take over.

Once I woke up my dog to see if she needed to go outside to use the bathroom.

I Google every single person I know. While this may seem like a giant waste of time, I happen to find out the man living four houses down from my parents is a registered sex offender. Sure, he is about seventy and in a wheelchair. Sure, he would probably break in half if I so much as tapped him on the shoulder. Sure, I'm the wrong sex and about twelve years older than what he seemingly prefers. But I feel better having the advantage of such knowledge in case we were ever alone and I'd have to fight for my life.

I drive to Target for some Burt's Beeswax, remember my brothers birthday and make my way to the DVD's.

My procrastination is not solely rooted in school, however. In a family of planners, of list-making, tidy people, I am one fundamentally frazzled black sheep. Constantly running late, looking for my keys, rummaging through heaps of unfolded laundry atop my bed. But what my parents and siblings fail to understand is the productivity in my procrastination, because out of it comes birthday gifts, moisturized lips and yet another dalliance guised as a creative outlet. Apparently Myspace just isn't enough.



 
Current Music: the eames era
Current Mood: awake

6/18/07 07:43 am - Inappropriate Crush of the Day

Ryan Gosling (as Dan Dunne) in Half Nelson.



The Notebook is for blubbering pussies.
Give me Gosling as a crackheaded junior-high history teacher any day.
Current Mood: awake
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